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Interview
with an NRI Divorcee
When
Nisha Sharma brought her dowry-monger of a fiancé to justice,
she became media's favourite maiden.
An
icon for young women, a case study for ladies' forums and
the torch-bearer of the Indian middleclass girl's cause.
But
there are a few guys out there who do not take dowry and never
make the headlines.
Like
this young NRI software engineer who gives Hyderabad Times
an account (on the condition of anonymity) of how his
marriage ended in a disaster.
And
he believes it's because he took no dowry.
"I
am a young software engineer, well settled in the US . I had
it all, a decent apartment, a nice car, a good job and an
above average pay check."
"I
was perhaps a prize catch, a part of the growing tribe of
'NRI techies' in the US . After a trip to India , to 'see'
a girl selected by my parents, we got married in the traditional
way. No dowry was asked for, given or received."
"After
the new bride joined me in the US , small tiffs started erupting
over little nothings. Soon the 'usual' tiffs erupted into
bigger brawls."
"About
two years into the marriage, the (now ex) wife and her parents
arm-twisted me into sponsoring her education in a town about
100 miles from where I lived and worked."
"She
then moved there, ostensibly to pursue her ambition of getting
a US degree. I was left leading a bachelor's life while the
wife whose visa and Green Card I had sponsored lived hundred
miles away."
"I
shouldn't have been surprised when, one evening, a courier
knocked on my door to deliver the divorce notice from the
wife!"
"I
can't help thinking that meticulous planning had gone into
that action. She ensured that she had moved her belongings
including jewels, personal belongings and stuff in the pretext
of taking them for our impending trip to India ."
"Her
dad, a senior bureaucrat, had made an 'official' trip to the
US a few months before that, to supposedly to patch things
up between us."
"I
was in a quandary. I would have to prepare myself to grapple
with notorious American lawyers and I wasn't ready! Without
a pre-nuptial agreement, a divorce in the US can leave the
earning member of the family extremely vulnerable."
"In
a typical filmy style, the ex-wife's lawyer, demanded a hundred
thousand dollars to settle the case out of court. To throw
salt on my wounds, the ex-wife, during a mediation debate
threatened to file a dowry lawsuit in India if I did not meet
her demands!"
The
practice of young NRIs demanding 40 to 50 lakh as dowry is
rampant in AP.
The
narrator of this account claims at the end of his ugly divorce,
he was left feeling that if he had demanded that amount from
his wife's parents, he could perhaps have thrown it back at
the ex and walked away with only a bruised ego.
(
As told to Revathy Menon, TOI ) Source:
TIMES NEWS NETWORK
Note:
The opinion presented here is that of the author and not GaramChai.com
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